Grit and Grace. A Powerful Combination for Women Leaders. Here’s How You Get it.
We’ve worked with many accomplished women leaders in our careers. We’ve always made it a practice to study their behavior; what works and what doesn’t and have used our learnings as trial and error in our own careers. Now, as executive coaches, we’re able to leverage our leadership knowledge and experience to support the growth and effectiveness of other women leaders. It’s a privilege.
When we think of the women leaders who are most effective, two words come to mind – grit and grace. We bet it’s the same for you. Try it. Take just a moment and picture in your mind a woman that you respect and admire. Now, consider her within the context of grit – firmness of character and an indominable spirit – and grace – ease and elegance of form and style. I’m guessing there’s a match.
It’s a powerful combination, grit and grace, and the beauty of it is it’s uniquely female. In this day and time when gender is at the forefront of many leadership discussions, it provides women with a blueprint for success. It’s a road map that recognizes women can lead and be effective on their own terms; that strength and competence can go hand-in-hand with style and empathy and … high heels.
In our experience, it’s best to think of it as a recipe that only works if grit comes first. Grit is the cake. Grace is the icing. So where does grit come from? Well, it happens over time when women put themselves out there and allow themselves to get out of their comfort zones. When they raise their hand even though they only feel 60% prepared. Wikipedia says individuals high in grit can maintain their determination and motivation over long periods despite experiences with failure and adversity. Terms such as resilience and perseverance are closely associated with grit. It’s not a quality you can study or take a test for. It requires women to get in the game, act, take risks, and stay the course. You must press into grit.
In the book “The Confidence Code” the authors, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, make a strong, evidenced-based argument that women have a lack of confidence, relative to their male peers, and this greatly impacts their ability to be equally successful in the workplace. There are so many reasons for this that are both nature and nurture. The evidence is compelling and eye opening. Low confidence becomes a self-fulfilling cycle, which results in inaction. By contrast, confidence is a virtuous cycle. It is the belief in one’s ability to succeed. This belief stimulates action. Action bolsters our belief in our ability to succeed. As a result, confidence is gained through taking action, succeeding and failing, over and over again. Hmm, sounds a lot like where grit comes from.
So, you see why grit must come first. It’s the foundation that the rest builds on. You earn your grit, and then you find your grace. Grace is the perfect complement to grit. It’s commanding the room simply with your presence. It’s holding your head up high in the face of challenge or adversity, and not getting rattled; poise under pressure. It’s the ability to handle strong-willed people in a commanding and professional way. It’s using the strength that comes from grit in the most decisive yet respectful manner possible.
The real power of grit and grace is manifest in the blending of the two qualities together. Grit alone, can be too hard, and it can make an individual hard. I don’t know anyone who wants to be that person. Likewise, grace alone, can be too soft. A person who is all grace might be well liked but they’re not taken seriously. But grit, complemented by grace, that is the rocket fuel that accelerates women to the top.
So, if you’re a professional woman, we would challenge you to think of your own leadership journey, and where you are on this grit and grace continuum. If you’re early in your career, up to probably middle management, then it’s likely you’re still working on earning your grit. This can be a hard place. I’m sure it contributes to why so many women tend to get stuck in the middle. Hear me loud and clear, don’t give up. Persevere. Do one thing every day that scares you or takes you out of your comfort zone. If you’re in middle management and pushing into the more senior ranks, then most likely you have the grit thing licked. Good for you. You’ve done all the heavy lifting. But don’t let it weigh you down. Take all that hard-earned experience and confidence and find your grace. Discover your style that is authentic to you. Practice and perfect it. It’s what people will remember and respect.
And if you’re a woman who already has her feet firmly planted in success. Congratulations! Your position is strong. You know exactly when and how to push or pull, and you do it with confidence and ease. You’ve made it. There is, however, one last thing that most accomplished women do. They put their leader on shout. They do something – mentor, sponsor, speak out, make change – to harness the power of their success, their own grit and grace to help the next generation of women leaders find theirs. Are you in?
