5 Tips to Help Women Negotiate
The recent Wall Street Journal article, “Data Show Gender Pay Gap Opens Early” illuminated the gap in pay which shined a light on the fact that women need to improve negotiation skills. According to the article, “median pay for men exceeded that for women three years after graduation in nearly 75% of roughly 11,300 undergraduate and graduate degree programs at some 2,000 universities.” The article goes on further to highlight a reason why this might be occurring. “Studies have shown that men tend to negotiate salaries more aggressively than women, and women at times shy away from ambitious goals for fear of being unprepared.” In our LEADForward development programs for high potential women leaders, we highlight the following 5 tips to help women negotiate to get what they want:
- Know and Leverage Your Negotiation Style
Women and men communicate, and thus approach negotiating, differently. Typically, men see negotiating as a competition which results in them being direct and wanting to get right down to business as they focus on achieving objectives. Women typically take a more collaborative approach, taking time to develop the relationship to create wins for all. The point here is for women to know, be comfortable with, and leverage their negotiation style to their advantage. To learn more about the different styles, see A Woman’s Guide to Successful Negotiating by Lee E. Miller and Jessica Miller.
- Do your homework
Women usually shine when it comes to preparing. We advise women to show their competence by taking the time to understand their own negotiation objectives. Prior to entering a negotiation, it’s critical to gain clarity by asking themselves questions like, what must I have? What am I willing to give up? And at what point should I walk away? We also guide women to know everything they can about their counterpart going into a negotiation, including background, goals, and style. Proper planning and paying attention to details, which are typically strengths for women, can lead to a successful interaction.
- Ask With Confidence
Asking with confidence is important. Based on the data in the WSJ pay gap article, we know that a lack of confidence is one of the key reasons that the gap exists. Women feel way more uncomfortable with negotiating than men do. As a matter of fact, as noted in the article Women Don’t Ask “men initiate negotiations about four times as often as women” and when they do negotiate they do not ask for as much as men, which leaves them with on average, 30% less than men. So, women need to be assertive and get good at asking. We advise women to think about what they really want and why, and then approach the conversation with confidence. Getting comfortable with silence (which can be a powerful tool), bundling, and not setting arbitrary limitations are all points to consider upon making requests.
- Take a communal approach
Although women can be uncomfortable negotiating on behalf of themselves, they are usually far more comfortable asking on behalf of others. In fact, women outperform men by 3X in representational negotiations. According to an article from the American Psychological Association, Women Outperform Men in Some Financial Negotiations, Research Finds, “it looks as though gender roles no longer give men a bargaining advantage if women are trained in negotiation, have information about the bargaining range and if they are negotiating for other individuals.” Therefore, we coach women to consider how their request will benefit their team, family, etc., and then position the discussion accordingly.
We saw an example of this while working with a female client in one of our recent LEADForward Roundtables. She was hesitant to ask for a raise because she was afraid of rejection and of being seen as too aggressive. When we encouraged her to think about how the pay increase would help plan for her child’s future, she was able to overcome her fear and ask assertively. Taking the communal approach allowed her to ask with conviction and ultimately obtain the much-deserved raise.
- Don’t hear NO
Women need to be comfortable with saying “no” and equally comfortable with not hearing “no”. We advise women not to retreat upon being rejected. Instead, we instruct them to think about asking their counterpart a question to gain more information, such as, “We are both smart people looking to do this deal, so what do we need to get there?”. We advise them to view “No” as the first step toward “yes”.
In sum, although women have made gains in the workplace, the data shows that women are still not earning as much as men. Strengthening their negotiation tactics and asking with confidence will go a long way toward narrowing the gap.
For more information on this topic and/or our LEADForward programs, visit www.accendoleader.com.
