Reflecting on Defining Moments Can Fuel Your Leadership. Here’s How.

Have you ever thought about those defining moments in your life and career that were particularly impactful, shaping how you show up, the values you represent, and, very likely, how you lead? Our histories and experiences inform who we are and how we handle opportunities and challenges. Reflecting on this and really understanding the underlying character traits and/or lessons learned can be a significant source of inspiration and motivation in your ongoing leadership development. 

So what is a defining moment? It’s an event or experience in someone’s life that has a profound and lasting impact on their identity; a point at which the essential nature or character of a person is revealed or identified. In a professional context, defining moments can include accomplishments, challenges, failures, or moments of growth and development.

Think back on a time when you made a pivotal decision that fundamentally altered your path and ultimately changed you, or when you encountered a situation that challenged your beliefs and norms, compelling you to take a stand or behave differently. Maybe there was a moment when someone inspired you and that altered your course, or you made a mistake and learned a hard lesson, or you were able to successfully repair a broken relationship. Not only do these moments define us, but they can have a transformative effect on our perceptions and behaviors.

An exercise we often use with leaders is to identify and reflect on their defining moments. Here’s how it works:

1. Think of a defining moment – an event that had a positive effect on you and led you to be the person and leader you are today. Preferably, choose a moment in which you took action in some way. This moment doesn’t need to be a dramatic event, just simply something that had a meaningful impact on you. 
2. List the character strengths you used in that situation. Which character strengths did you bring forth? How did you express them? Character strengths are the positive traits people possess. Examples are creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, forgiveness, self-regulation, gratitude, and courage.
3. Consider and explore how this moment has shaped who you are. How it contributed to your identity? No matter how small, how has it affected your view of yourself?
4. Share your defining moment story with another person to gain perspective on your experience and how it has contributed to who you are today. Ask your partner to identify the character traits they see in your story. What other insight do they have? Listen and write down what you heard.

The final step is to consider how you can leverage these defining moments. How can you use these experiences to showcase your skills and expertise? What do they reveal in terms of your differentiated contribution in the workplace? How does this help to define your professional brand, and are you living your brand? 

Identifying your defining moments and reflecting on their impact can provide powerful insight as to how your past has shaped you and influenced your career path. It builds self-efficacy, reminding you of the natural strengths and positive traits that have been foundational to your success. Most importantly, it equips you to lead with what you do best.