If Emotional Intelligence is Essential for Leadership Success, it Helps to Know What it Looks Like.

The leadership attribute that we coach most often with executives is emotional intelligence, yet it’s one of the greatest predictors of leadership success. The good news is, unlike IQ, you can improve your EQ with practice. When you want to learn something new visualization of that behavior certainly helps. So, what exactly does an emotionally intelligent leader look like? In our experience leaders high in EQ display four key attributes that you can easily spot in your day-to-day interactions: 

1. They know themselves well. Self-awareness is foundational to high emotional intelligence. When you truly know what makes you tick, what your tendencies are and what motivates you, you can quickly make sense of your emotions. Most importantly, its this honest understanding and acceptance of what I often call “the good, the bad and the ugly” about yourself that allows you to build strategies to make real progress in mastering the behaviors required to be successful. There’s no defensiveness or excuses. Emotionally intelligent leaders look at themselves in the mirror of feedback and say, “yes, that’s me.”
   
2. They are transparent and speak the truth. Emotionally intelligent leaders are authentic leaders who aren’t afraid to let their vulnerabilities be known. They readily acknowledge their flaws and own their mistakes. Likewise, they are able to confront reality and talk straight with others in a manner that lends clarity without game playing or emotional blows. You always know where you stand with an emotionally intelligent leader, and you respect them all the more for it. In allowing their true self to be seen and heard, they give others permission to do the same, which accelerates the building of trust.
   
3. They connect and are tuned in. This is a hallmark of emotional intelligence, the ability to be perceptive about people and situations; to meet others where they are and recognize their needs and emotional response. They listen first, allowing others to be heard. They’re open minded, give thoughtful consideration to other ideas and perspectives and are non-judgmental in their response. Emotionally intelligent leaders are not only fully present and able read others well but can adjust their thinking or approach in response to others to produce a more productive outcome.
   
4. They are composed and collected.  An emotionally intelligent leader rarely gets their buttons pushed. It’s here, in the mastery of self-management, that a leader’s awareness of their emotions is critical as self-awareness is what allows you to actively make a choice as to how to respond. Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t allow their emotions to get hijacked because they recognize this serves to unnecessarily disrupt and frustrate those around them, sometimes to the point of resentment. Rather they model constancy and maintain control of even the most difficult situations giving their teams the requisite stability that fuels maximum performance.

Take a moment to reflect on these four attributes. Picture in your mind a leader that displays one or more of these day-in-and-day-out. They probably make it look effortless, but trust us, they didn’t become proficient in their mastery of the behavior overnight. It’s only through diligent practice, self-reflection and feedback that leaders can improve their emotional intelligence. Yes, at first it feels like a heavy lift. But in time, it becomes your natural state of leading. Go ahead, it begins with the first step. Pick one attribute at a time and get to work on your own EQ improvement plan. Before you know it, you will be that emotionally intelligent leader that other’s picture in their mind. And always remember … Leadership Matters!